My Friend George, Part 2

George served over 200 women at a dinner the night before he died. He wore his tux and polished his bald head I am sure. Here is a pic of George doing what he did best only hours before he died.

I have so much more that I want to say about my friend George. I have really struggled with his passing, teetering between my desire to no longer hurt and my desire to never forget who he was and what he meant to humanity. It seems that right now I can't have one without the other. I know that the word "humanity" seems to be a strong word to use, but George reminds me of something that Rob Bell talked about in one of his books. Bell talked about how the world needs Christians- the world is a better place because of Christians (true Christians whose lives look strangely like the life of Jesus- full of love, sacrifice, and a hatred for injustice). The world didn't need George, but the world was and is so much better off because of George.

:: Who George Was to Me ::
As I mentioned in an earlier post, on my flight home from Jacksonville I jotted down some thoughts in my journal. I offer it to those who may find comfort or inspiration, not from my words, but from George.
12/10/07
George was strong for us when we needed strength. He always seemed to be good at standing up for people who seemed to have been made cripple. He loved justice. He hated injustice. He loved truth and integrity. He hated lies, deceit, and shallow living. He LOVED his wife Sandy. He ADORED his son Stephen. He felt it a privelege to minister to church staff. He was a minister to ministers. He had as strong a mind as he did a hug and a handshake. He was put off by weak-minded Christians who sought comfort before Christ. He was not afraid to touch. He would give a great big bear-hug, a firm handshake, and a knock-the-wind-out-of-you pat on the back. He would tell you that he loved you and that he would be there if you ever needed anything. (And he would emphasize words like "ever" or "anything"). He loved life and he didn't let his circumstances define who he was. After his funeral, I looked through his well-worn Bible with about a thousand ribbon markers (marking his favorite passages) and it said in Philippians 4 (he had written a side note): "Be independent of your circumstances."
Sometimes he would say things that seemed trite for a Christian to say like, "God said it. That settles it." And because it was George who said it, I believed it too. His life backed it up. And it was not trite.
He would not embrace or settle for weak faith. His God was and is strong. His view of God broadened my view of God.
He spent his last day serving over 200 ladies at a dinner that was partly organized by Sandy (his wife). Tim Tebow's mom was the guest speaker. Tebow won the Heisman Trophy 4 days later. George, I am told, wore his 7-year old tux and he would not leave until the last table had been cleaned and put away (this was typical George fashion). George labored to show people that they were important, that they mattered to God- and that meant that they mattered to him as well. George never saw someone as a lost cause.
One of his favorite things to say when the means to an end seemed absurd was "That dawg won't hunt." His timing was impeccable. He had a great sense of humor. He was really good at dishing it out on me. I am not really quick-witted. Part of my personality and sense of humor is that I am really really slow (at times people have honestly wondered if there was something mentally wrong with me!) Every now and then, I would think that I had a "good one" to dish out on George. I would roll it out, and then he would send something right back at me tenfold. At times it had to do with being a momma's boy or maybe even the fact that I don't shower and I only take bubble baths. Okay just kidding about the bath thing- but George had a hidden arsenal waiting for the right time to be released on me. And I wouldn't trade the battles in for anything.
I think I will end it here- right when you begin to see that he had a love for life, for faith, for friends, for justice, and for laughter. More to come later this week- because I want to tell you some of the things that George taught me about faith and life . . .

Time-Out!

If you want to add a little funk soul brother to your Christmas music mix, check out Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra's Christmas album called A Very Ping Pong Christmas: Funky Treats From Santa's Bag. You will thank me later. It's not Bing Crosby, but it will make you want to get down with your bad self this holiday season. Merry Christmas yizzizzall!

My Friend Earl

My Buddy Earl and his wife Shirley on our trip home from Florida in September of 2005
On our way to the airport on Sunday to fly to Jacksonville to attend George's funeral, Jessica and I had to stop by and see our good friend Earl. He was at his house and on his death bed. The family had been called in to be at his side and to pay their last respects. Earl passed away around 1:30 am on Tuesday. He went peacefully. He loved the Lord.

Earl was a good friend. He and Shirley were wonderful neighbors to my parents and he quickly became a grandfather of sorts to me. It was said of Earl at the funeral today that he was much like Barnabas, from Scripture. Barnabas was called "Son of Encouragement." That was the perfect way to describe Earl. Every time I was with him, I felt special. I never wondered about how much I mattered to him. He was a man who was not afraid to say kind words, tell you he loved you, and give you a hug. He was a good man. He is with the Lord right now. Today he is in heaven riding a sweet John Deere Tractor across his neighbor's yard just so they would know that he loves them. He is also saying strange sayings like, "That'll make a train want to take a dirt road." I had no idea what he meant with his sayings. He did. That's all that mattered. I tried to make some up on my own, but they didn't have the flare that his did.

Earl spent countless hours working on my Chevy Z-71 truck when I was in college. I stood around acting like I knew what we were doing, but all that mattered was that Mr. Miaggi was going to work on my truck. I would go off-roading and mess something up on my truck, and he would always open the hood and look at me and shake his head with an eye-brow raised and say, "O boy. Not good." He was normally joking. He thought it was funny to hear me say, "How much is this gonna cost me?"

Selfishly, one of my greatest regrets in life is when we were scheduled to go camping and fishing together in Wyoming. It would be my first time to go on a trip together with Earl. He was a man's man. He could wrestle a bear with his bare hands and he could catch trout with his teeth. He could start a camp fire with his breath and he slept with his eyes open. Okay, not really, but he was a man's man. He was going to be our guide on our trip to Wyoming. The Walkers had never been to Wyoming before. Earl had, and we were excited to have him share his love for the state with us. A week before we were supposed to leave, he had a stroke, and through the stroke they discovered that he had brain cancer. My regret is that Earl didn't get to go to Wyoming with us. 3 and a half years later, we stood at his grave site, wondering "Why Earl?", and still trying to grasp the last 42 months. It seems surreal still.

Today was a cold and wet day. I am going to miss my friend Earl. But one day, Jess and I will stand with Earl and Shirley- the ones that made the trip to Birmingham Alabama to see us get married- and we will witness the pinnacle of all marriages. The marriage between the Bride and the Bridegroom. Jesus Christ and his Church. We are seriously going to have a good time. And Earl will drag the golden strip on his John Deere and George will sell him some emergency lights for his tractor, and we are all going to laugh and sing to the great and glorious King, Jesus Christ. I can't wait to see my friends again. I can't wait to see my King.

My Friend George

George flying a kite at a church tailgating party. His wife Sandy is in the background. He was truly a kid at heart.

I find myself wanting to tell everyone about my friend George and what he meant to me. It sounds somewhat shallow to talk only about what he means to only me- he meant so much to Jessica too. And his precious wife, Sandy, and his son, Stephen...they are so special to us. But I think I am going to blog about George and how much he, personally, meant to me, personally. He is so worth knowing, and I want to show others what I learned from George. And for those who are in Christ, you will surely recognize that I learned from Christ himself, through a mighty instrument named George Thorne.
I will try to keep my posts fairly short each day that I blog, but get ready, because I think I have at least a week's worth of notes that I have journaled- some notes from the plane trip home, some from the airport, some from my house. Notes with tears, for I have lost a good friend.
:: My Earliest Memories of George ::
I am not sure when the first time was that I officially met George. That's pretty normal for me. I don't remember the first time I met my parents or my brothers (I was pretty young, I think). And I can probably only tell you a handful of people in my life that I remember meeting for the first time. My wife is one of them. I am the kind of person that has to get to know someone before I can remember their name.
God has slowly and graciously brought memories of George back to my mind, so hopefully some day soon I will be able to recall the first time I met George. I don't know why it's so important to me- it just is.
But there are conversations that I can recall with George that marked me- in a good way. I believe the first time was in February or early March of 2005- I was on my way to St Luke's hospital in Jacksonville to visit one of our church members who was having surgery. I remember having a few minutes to spare and I was hungry, so I went into a Chick-Fil-A. I got a phone call right after I ordered, and on the other end was a deep, somewhat unfamiliar voice. "You just can't get away from me. I am always watching you." It was George. He was sitting down, reading the paper, drinking coffee, and smiling because he had oh-so-cleverly startled me. I sat down with George and after our conversation, I knew that I had a friend for life. Sometimes you can just tell. He told me that he felt it was his calling from God to serve and protect pastors in his church. That's where I will end this blog entry. Right at the part where you begin to realize that he LOVED serving, he LOVED protecting (he was a retired cop), and he LOVED the Church. That's just who he was.

Rain

I have experienced many beautiful years in life, but this 2007 brought some rain. The forecast this week: cloudy, cold and drizzly. My good friend George Thorne was killed in a car wreck on December 5, 2007. I will miss him dearly. I am sitting in the airport in Charlotte awaiting my connecting flight home from the funeral. I have one more funeral to attend this week. I received the text message from my mom today that my close friend and grandfather figure, Earl Baker, passed away at 1:30 this morning. We were all expecting it. He was diagnosed with brain cancer over 3 years ago. He was a good man. This kind of pain is new to me. I have never experienced pain like the pain I have had over the last few months. But better days are ahead. To steal the words of my good friend George, "Live independent of your circumstances." And even better, "God is good. He told me so. I believe it." I believe it too.

What I want

I want to treasure Christ above everything else in my life. The reason is so the world will see how beautiful God is. I haven't posted in a while, so I felt it was necessary to blog today. God has been dealing with me by asking me this question: "What have you done with the life I have given you?" I am not guaranteed tomorrow. I just found out that a friend of mine in Florida was killed in a car wreck last night. Events like that force you to place things into perspective. I am pressed by the question once again, "Did you make your life count, Kyle?" I have wasted too much of my life treasuring things that will not last. May Christ be everything to me.
"I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ." -the apostle Paul, Philippians 3:8

Rock Me Gently, Jeep Liberty

I just saw a commercial. I think we need more commercials like this. Kyle likey.

The squirrel is my favorite. He's quite the performer.

Awaken to the Whole Gospel

I was reading my best friend's blog today and I ran across this video of a pastor and author named John Piper. He is one of my "mentors" though I have never met him. I don't think I would be considered a "Piper-ite," but I owe a lot to him for my development as a lover of God. I have so much respect for him because he speaks truth that many are afraid to speak. His reverence for God is challenging and inspiring to me. This video is about the "Prosperity Gospel" and I believe a necessary message for the church in America- soon to be necessary around the globe.


It's time for the church to awaken to the whole Gospel. Blessings to John Piper.

A Blessing Just Walked in to America's Best Coffee

I am better today than I was yesterday.
I am going to try to put into words how deeply God blessed me today though a man named Dr. Jones. I will try, but I know I will fall short. Those who are familiar with my weekly work routine know that I pretty much office out of America's Best Coffee. Besides it being a Christian-owned and operated organization, I think their place is snazzy and their drinks are fantastic. This morning I was reading through the Psalms and listening to my country playlist on my iPod (yeah, it's pretty wierd) and I was interrupted by a guy named "Dr. Jones." I was a little startled, and immediately thought he was going to ask me about what I was reading. Instead he asked me about my computer. He was dressed very nice and I immediately noticed his dark skin and his African accent- I later found out he was from Kenya. I absolutely love to listen to the African dialect.

Over coffee and a bagel, our conversation morphed from talking about my computer to talking about being Christians. We talked about our churches. He said, like only he can, "I love the church. All of them!" I could tell that the Spirit lived in Dr. Jones- he had such a peace about him. I hope people think or say the same about me when we part ways. I found out that Dr. Jones attends a large church in the area. Our interaction was a blessing in every sense of the word. I had a hard time understanding some of the things he was saying, but it didn't matter. He told me, "You are in the greatest business in the world. You are helping people and loving the Lord." I asked him how long he had been a Christian. He said with a smile, "I have been a Chritian since I was born, but 2 years ago I returned to the Lord to love Him." His answer didn't really fit into the box that I wanted it to fit in. Years ago I would have dug deeper because of my concern that he "didn't answer correctly." I wanted him to talk about how he had "accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior." But I could tell that he knew Jesus. I think with some people it's just really obvious when they have spent time with Jesus. "I have been a Christian since I was born, but 2 years ago I returned to the Lord to love Him." Yeah, I could tell he had spent the last 2 years walking with Jesus. It was like he had been walking on the old dirt road to Emmaus with a man named "Jesus" for the past 2 years.

For some reason I became burdened for him as our conversation progressed. Though it seemed somewhat veiled, it appeared that life had begun to beat him down in a way. He had just come from a meeting with one of his kids' teachers. He was about to head off to work (He is a pharmacist at a nearby hospital). I felt like I should pray for him before he left. As he was getting up to leave, I asked if I could pray for him. Now, I am not one who does that very often- pray for people that I just met in public places. But something inside me told me that praying for this man would be one of my greatest priveledges. That may sound cheezy, but as we talked I honestly could not wait to pray for him. He said, "I would like that very much." I want to honor him by not saying too much here, but he asked that I pray for him and some situations at home. I could tell that he loved the Lord, but he was still struggling with life. He had made some mistakes in the past and now he was trying to fight through shame to be a godly man for his family now. I prayed for him and his family. I believe that I will for a long time.

It sounds strange to describe my fellowship with Dr. Jones like this but I have to say that our time was "sweet." As he left I was thankful for our time and I longed for more times like that. The reason for this, I believe, is because God has set him apart to be a blessing. I thought about Genesis 12, where God tells Abraham that he was going to use him to bless the nations. God's heart was revealed in Genesis 12- He wants to use His people to bless the world. I have no doubt in my mind that God is using Dr. Jones to bless others. That's why I can say that a Blessing walked into America's Best Coffee this morning.

A few things that I thought about after he left:
1. I am glad that I was not over-protective of my time in the Psalms. I was interrupted- and God was in the interruption this morning.
2. It only takes One thing in common to make you friends on a deeply profound level. I have friends around the globe whom I am a part of. Oh how I love the Church! As Dr. Jones walked out of the coffee shop I wanted to pray for those in other countries who were my friends because of Jesus. I was so thankful.
3. We never really talked about Jesus. I am not saying that this is a good thing. I now realize that I want to get to the point where my conversations about being a Christian is more about how great Jesus is and how much I treasure him. I don't believe God is disappointed with me even though we never mentioned the name Jesus. I believe He is teaching me that I still have a ways to go, though. Even so, God blessed our interaction. We danced around Jesus, but we never took his hand. Isn't it odd how easy it is to talk about the Church and about how long we have been Christians, but we kind of dance around mentioning the name "Jesus Christ?" But at the same time, it can be completely evident that Christ is alive in us and the Spirit is working in the midst of the conversation.
4. I am better today than I was yesterday because of this Blessing that God sent my way. I want to be a blessing for all that I come into contact with.

And I hope you do too. Because that is what God created you to be- a living, breathing, walking . . . blessing.

The Rescuer

"Truth is nowhere to be found, and whoever shuns evil becomes a prey. The Lord looked and was displeased that there was no justice. He saw that there was no one, he was apalled that there was no one to intervene; so his own arm worked salvation for him, and his own righteousness as his breastplate, and the helmet of salvation on his head; he put on the garments of vengeance and wrapped himself in zeal as in a cloak."
Isaiah 59:15-17

Isaiah 58 is one of my favorite passages in all of Scripture. But Isaiah 59 must be one of the most beautiful and most emotional pieces that I have read. The imagery, the language, the picture that is painted- it's beautiful. The beauty of it alone helps me to love God's Word even more! Take some time to read chapters 58-59. God has communicated beautiful truth to us through this beautiful piece of work. I ran into a professor of mine (from Southwestern) this morning at America's Best Coffee and through our conversation he reminded me of how important the medium is by which a message is communicated. Some times, it seems, the message shouts just as loud through the form of it than through the truth that's in it. Certainly the truth that is Isaiah 59 can never be topped in beauty and significance, but the way that it is communicated is almost as beautiful. I love this passage. It, in every way, brings me hope. I know it will do the same for you.

I don't like them.

Pats. Rats.
Rodney Harrison. Snotty fairy's son.
Tom Brady. Throws like a lady.
Bill Belichik. Stupid glue stick.
Pats. Rats. Fats.
I don't like them.

Halloween is SO SCARY

I am afraid my earlier post might be misconstrued, so I have decided to change it to better communicate my thoughts. I felt a little unsettled after I hit "Publish." My attempt to be dry-funny turned out to appear haughty and mocking. Not my intention.
Here are a few of my thoughts about tonight. I am excited about tonight, but I am also a little embarrassed about it. The reason is that I have been far too distant from our neighbors and I only wish that tonight would be more than just a re-introduction to one another. The sad thing is that the Scariest thing to me about tonight is facing our neighbors when I know that I have not been as loving to them as I should have been.

Tonight really is going to be a great night to meet our neighbors- again. We will get to re-introduce ourselves to them and show them that they are always welcome at our house. We are going to open our arms and our hearts wide, gush over the kids, and care for our neighbors. It is, after all, one of the only times that neighbors will come to us! I hope they see Christ in us tonight. It's the perfect opportunity to kind of start over with our neighbors and extend the hand of friendship that has all too often stayed in our pockets as we have walked our neighborhood. Lights will definitely be ON at our house.
And it's really not so scary. The One who is in us is greater than he who is in the world. Jesus said, "Take heart, I have overcome the world!" No amount of darkness can distinguish the smallest flame.
It is strange how on Halloween all the barriers that we set up throughout the year between ourselves and our neighbors seem to come down. I know that Halloween is pretty complicated for parents. I think I am probably too dogmatic about it. I honestly don't think it's a black and white issue. Jess and I have a conviction that one of the most unloving things we could do for our neighbors tonight is to sit in a dark house and turn our back on the people that God has deliberately placed us in the same neighborhood as. We haven't always been good at loving our neighbors, but tonight is a chance to start over. I love our neighbors. I am afraid that they just don't know it yet. That's what is truly scary.

Choosing my world wisely

As I was rummaging through my garage, pulling out camping and fishing gear for my trip last weekend, I ran across a book that has been very influential in my walk with Jesus. It's called "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer. I opened it up and briefly skimmed through it, looking at the things that I thought were worthy of highlighting years ago. It brought back great memories of when I was in college. I used to live and breathe the Word of God. I would sit in the University Center at UTA and read and meditate on scripture for hours. I would read books like "The Pursuit of God" and I would talk to God throughout the day. Every day.
One of the things that was so real to me when I was in college was the reality that there were 2 worlds in life. There is the spiritual realm, and then there is the physical realm. Life was incredibly exciting to me because I thought about, searched for, and anticipated things that God was doing in the spiritual realm. It changed the way I saw my interaction with my professors, my new friends that were completely lost, the freak with the bullhorn shouting at people as they walked by going to class, and those who worked on campus. I knew: "There is much more going on here than I can see with my eyes." Spiritual warfare had become so real and so... thick. And anytime I talk about this reality, I think I sound like a madman. I sound crazy.
And I can see why people thought Jesus was crazy. He said strange things all the time. He knew the reality of both worlds- the spiritual and the physical. "In my Father's house there are many rooms; if it weren't so, I wouldn't have told you." "I will not speak with you much longer, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold on me..." "In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Had Jesus overcome anything? It appeared that he was in a battle with the authorities and that he was on the losing end.
And the parables that Jesus told- they were always somewhat veiled so only those who were thinking on the proper realm would understand them.
And the things Jesus did. His miracles served as a way to draw people to see the reality of the spiritual realm. The Kingdom of God had come to earth!
Okay, back to that book. The one in my garage. Here are a few things that I highlighted or circled and I wanted to share:
"Every man must choose his world."
"A spiritual kingdom lies all about us, enclosing us, embracing us, altogether within reach of our inner selves, waiting for us to recognize it. God Himself is here waiting our response to His presence. This eternal world will come alive to us the moment we begin to beckon upon its reality."
"At the root of the Christian life lies belief in the invisible. The object of the Christian's faith is unseen reality."
"The soul has eyes with which to see and ears with which to hear. Feeble they may be from long disuse, but by the life-giving touch of Christ they are now alive and capable of sharpest sight and most sensitive hearing."
"As we begin to focus upon God, the things of the Spirit will take shape before our inner eyes. A new God-consciousness will seize upon us and we shall begin to taste and hear and inwardly feel God, who is our life and our all. There will be seen the constant shining of "the True Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world" (John 1:9) More and more, as our faculties grow sharper and more sure, God will become to us the great All, and His presence the glory and wonder of our lives."
At the close of chapter 4 in his book, Tozer closes with this prayer, beautifully scripted:
"O God, quicken to life every power within me,
that I may lay hold of eternal things.
Open my eyes that I may see;
give me acute spiritual perception;
enable me to taste Thee and
know that Thou art good.
Make heaven more rela to me
than earthly thing has ever been. Amen."

It all presses me to wonder- which world am I choosing to live in today? I hope I choose wisely.

What good has come?

Jess and I were talking the other night about the last 3 weeks of our lives. The question got tossed out: "What good has really come from us losing our baby?" One of the answers that we settled on is this: We know without a doubt that there are many people who love us, and we have experienced what Jesus is like through our friends and family. We have had so many people send us cards, emails, text messages, phone calls, visits, food, flowers, hugs, and prayers. It is humbling to know that God has attached so many people to us. I think it is true that people hurt people. But I can also see that God uses people to heal people. Ultimately healing comes from God. But he is using people to heal us. Thank you, friends. Thank you, God. Good has come our way.

A Seed of Hope & Joy

I am learning what it means to embrace the sorrow that God has appointed for me. Miscarriages are very common and culture makes it hard to not feel like I am supposed to be over it after 2 weeks. I tell myself, "The joy of the Lord is my strength." I believe that it is. But my understanding of joy has been distorted by culture. "Alright, the old Kyle is back now" I find myself thinking, "I can't keep wallowing in grief." But I think I am finding that God sometimes wants us to sit in darkness and embrace pain. I am finding that Scripture speaks to this often. There is such thing as Godly sorrow. Jesus was sorrowful in the Garden, before his execution, "even to death." The Spirit, we are told, can be grieved.

I believe that the cause of sorrow in the world is sin. The weight of sin grieved Jesus in the Garden. The sin of rejecting God grieves the Holy Spirit. On a personal note, miscarriages happen because sin exists. Sin is morally ugly and disgusting. When we grieve from the loss of our child, we are longing for the bliss of life with God. John Piper says, "Our sorrow for sin is rooted in our savoring of God." Ultimately, I am sorrowful that sin exists and is at the root of all that pains us in the world today. I am angry about true life that is stolen from us all.

It sounds like a strange request, but please don't wake me up from my pain. Not yet. Let me embrace it. Because when I embrace it, I long for God. Ultimately I look forward to holding our child in heaven. I believe now that Jessica's Grandaddy, whom I will not meet this side of heaven, is holding our child and they both are waiting to see us. It seems too long for us. But it will only be the blink of an eye for them. Paul said he was "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." I am sorrowful, yet I am rejoicing. Seminary geeks call this "Eschatalogical tension." It's the tension that comes when you live in the reality of today AND the future. Scripture tells us to consider Jesus and take our cues from Him: "who for the joy set before him endured the cross..." Present Reality for Jesus in the Garden: Torture, humiliation, sin-bearing, hell on earth breaks loose on Him. Future Reality: Sitting at the right hand of God, Sin and death destroyed, having a people of his own, true life restored on an eternal scale.

Living in the reality of today AND the future.
Today's reality: We lost our baby. Tears exist.
Future reality: We gain our baby. God wipes away all tears. And the effects of sin no longer hurt us.

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. Because I have sinned against him, I will bear the Lord's wrath, until he pleads my case and establishes my right. He will bring me out into the light; I will see his righteousness. Then my enemy will see it and will be covered with shame, she who said to me, 'Where is the Lord your God?' My eyes will see her downfall; even now she will be trampled underfoot like mire in the streets. The day for building your walls will come, the day for extending your boundaries." - Micah 7:7-11

Therefore, we grieve today, and we wait for the redemption of our bodies and the removal of all our sins. We grieve today, but we delight in hope of glory (Romans 5:2-3). Our hope and our joy is muffled by the pain. But there is a seed of hope and joy. This seed will grow, and one day, it will produce great delight and unlimited pleasure in the presence of God and all who are found in Christ.

So let us embrace whatever sorrow God appoints for us. We will not be ashamed of tears. "Though we sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light for us." Pain is here now. Joy will be here in the morning.

The Great Danger

"The great danger is not that we will renounce our faith, but settle for a mediocre version of it."
-John Ortberg

Can't Wait

Words are left unspoken
Life and laughter still'd
Hearts and hopes are broken
One day in heaven fill'd.

Suffering so that it may result in praise, glory and honor

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Pray for us and others

After speaking with a few dear friends this past week about our miscarriage, I was told about the tragedy that occured a few days earlier to one of the most influential pastors in my life. John Piper's family was expecting the birth of his grand-daughter, Felicity on Sunday. Instead, grief was born on Saturday morning. You can read their story by cutting and pasting the link below. When you remember Jessica and I in your prayers, remember them as well.
http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/829_felicity_margaret_piper/

You can also read what John Piper said at his grand-daughter's funeral by cutting and pasting the link below.
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2007/2406_What_I_Said_at_My_Granddaughters_Funeral/

Thank you for your prayers.

It's a Haiku

O my Dallas Cowboys -
Romo looks like number 8 at times
I like pie
T.O. stands for Terrell Owens
William & Mary is a school?
Wade Phillips is boring
But it doesn't matter
Wow. How bout them Cowboys.

God & War

I am not really much of a poetry person, but this morning I gave a poem a little extra time to read, and I concluded that it's just a really cool poem. It is quite long, but I think it is fitting for the situation that our country is in. For those who have been affected by the war... and for those who are in turmoil in how they view God in the midst of it all, check out the following link.
http://benwitherington.blogspot.com/
You may have to cut and paste into your address bar or you can just click on the link to the right entitled "A really smart guy named Ben."

The One Whom Jesus Loves...

“Not long ago I received in the mail a postcard from a friend that had on it only six words, “I am the one Jesus loves.” I smiled when I saw the return address, for my strange friend excels at these pious slogans. When I called him, though, he told me the slogan came from the author and speaker Brennan Manning. At a seminar, Manning referred to Jesus’ closest friend on earth, the disciple named John, identified in the Gospels as “the one Jesus loved.” Manning said, “If John were to be asked, ‘What is your primary identity in life?’ he would not reply, ‘I am a disciple, an apostle, an evangelist, an author of one of the four Gospels,’ but rather, ‘I am the one Jesus loves.’”
What would it mean, I ask myself, if I too came to the place where I saw my primary identity in life as “the one Jesus loves”? How differently would I view myself at the end of the day?
Sociologists have a theory of the looking-glass self: you become what the most important person in your life (wife, father, boss, etc.) thinks you are. How would my life change if I truly believed the Bible’s astounding words about God’s love for me, if I looked in the mirror and saw what God sees?
Brennan Manning tells the story of an old Irish priest who, on a walking tour of a rural parish, sees an old peasant kneeling by the side of the road, praying. Impressed, the priest says to the man, “You must be very close to God.” The peasant looks up from his prayers, thinks a moment, and then smiles, “Yes, he’s very fond of me.”
-Phillip Yancey, What’s So Amazing About Grace, visual edition, page 22

What are we doing and How are we doing it?

Okay, so we decided to make the Rockway Church Blog page a site that was mainly reserved for interaction and discussion- not so much devotional thoughts by staff. So if this looks familiar- it's because I just cut and pasted this entry from the Rockway Blog Site to my blog page.

"CHRIST we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone MATURE in CHRIST. For this I toil, struggling with all HIS energy that he powerfully works within me." -Paul, Colossians 1:28-29

We proclaim Christ. The Christ of the inspired Word of God. Not a Christ of morals or ethics. Not a Christ of self help psycho-babble. Not a Christ of friendly smiles and good-will. Not a Christ of reason. Those are all helpful, but not essential. We teach Christ: born of a virgin named Mary. Living a sinless life- 33 years. Suffering under Pontius Pilate. Crucified. Dead. Buried. Risen from the dead. Ascended to Heaven to be with the Father. Currently speaking to the Father on behalf of those who treasure Him. And one day returning for His Bride, the Church and destroying Death once and for all.

It's a lot to proclaim. And like Jonathan alluded to in his blog- a lot of it sounds pretty crazy. But these we must hold to- so that we can, like Paul, present everyone mature in Christ. We can be mature in a lot of things- but only one thing is worth our energy- knowing Christ.

And we want to know all there is to know about Him! Our minds were made to be filled with wonderful thoughts about Him! It's not enough to just believe that he was crucified. But we must know that he truly was dead and that he rose again- Even that's not the complete picture of Jesus. We will never get the complete picture of Jesus- like Paul said it's like trying to see Jesus in a very dim and poor mirror, but one day we will see Him face to face (1 Cor 13:12). We want to know all there is to know about Him!

And How will we do this? How can we tackle such an enormous job which is to know and teach Christ from now until life is over? The only possible way is this: We need God-like strength and energy. And God generously gives it! It's not easy. Paul says it's a struggle. But it is the ONLY thing worth striving after. Knowing and teaching Christ with the energy He provides.

God, let Rockway strive to know everything there is to know about Your son, Jesus. And may Rockway proclaim and teach none other than your true son Jesus Christ.

Satan's plan of salvation?

More from Glyn Evans- "Satan's deliverance minimizes the great deliverance that God promises his children. In being tempted by Satan, Jesus was promised deliverance from the cross. Many martyrs were promised deliverance from their pains by a simple recantation..."
"Satan wants us to fulfill ourselves and be the happy subjects he wants us to be- but in HIS way. That is why it is very difficult to convince unsaved people that they are not having a good time. The fact is, they are! Further, it is difficult to get people to exchange their immediate happiness, which Satan gives, for an eventual happiness, which God promises.

"By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharoah's daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin." Hebrews 11:24-25

Agree or Disagree:

I read the following in my devotional book ('Daily with the King' by Glyn Evans). It was really thought-provoking. I am curious, though. What do you think?

Satan says, "Serve me, and I will give you everything you want." God says, "Serve Me, and I will give you only what is good."

More thoughts later...

Tragedy

As many know by now, tragedy struck here in Mansfield last night at the Summit JV football game. A young man named Dozie died last night. I don't know the details, but from what I understand, it was due to an injury sustained while playing and he collapsed on his way to the sideline. It's awful.
I have no words to make the situation better. But I do know that there is always hope when you are walking with Jesus. This hope was so real to Paul that he said, "To live is Christ, to die . . . even better." Pray with me for Dozie's family and those who are in the wake of such an awful thing. Feel free to post your prayer to this blog.

What joy...

"OH, WHAT JOY for those whose rebellion is forgiven,
whose sin is put out of sight!
Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin,
whose lives are lived in complete honesty!
When I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable,
and I groaned all day long.
Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.
My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.
Finally I confessed all my sins to you and
stopped trying to hide them.
I said to myself, "I will confess my rebellion to the Lord."
And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.
Therefore, let all the godly confess their rebellion
to you while there is time, that they may not drown
in the floodwaters of judgment.
For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble.
You surround me with songs of victory.
The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over your life.
I will advise you and watch over you.
Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that
needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control."
Many sorrows come to the wicked,
but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord.
SO REJOICE IN THE LORD AND BE GLAD,
all you who obey him! Shout for JOY, all you whose hearts are pure!"

-King David
PSALM 32 (NLT)


Like the joy and gratefulness that one is overcome with soonafter a near-death experience . . . I think that's kind of how we are to live everyday of our lives. I am not very good at it, but I need to be. If you have known anyone who has just escaped death- they hug their sons and daughters, husbands or wives closer. They are not ashamed to express the beauty of living life. I heard John Piper compare it to miners who have narrowly escaped death . . . spending days trapped while others work tirelessly to rescue them. And when the miners finally come out into the light and breathe the fresh air- who is doing all the hugging? EVERYONE! Onlookers hug each other. Rescuers are hugging strangers. Wives run to husbands. Life is celebrated- everyone's life is celebrated!
Oh if only the church was a place where JOY was expressed to the hilt because WE have been rescued from ourselves. We have all been where those trapped miners were. All banged up, bruised, and bleeding, gasping for air, about to go under for good. And then the light appears! The Father has chased after us! He removes our shame! He heals our wounds! He gives us new life, new breath! I can't express it any better than David did in Psalm 32.
This Sunday, let's celebrate the rescuing. I want to hug more people, because the truth is that they have been rescued. And so have I! I am happy to be alive.
"Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!" 32.2

Thank you Jesus. I can't wait to see you!

Why be Real?

Our responsibility as the family of faith is to be authentic every day of our lives. We are to "act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God" every day. It's important for us to be real not just because it is what the world longs to see from "Christians." We are to be real because that is the only way God will be glorified in our lives. Imagine: A gracious God accepting someone like me- with all my quirks, selfishness, and shortcomings. It is the recognition of this reality that places God, not Kyle Walker, on display. And that's the best way.

I'm Just Sayin...

I really really really love my wife.

Never More Like God

I am in Tuscaloosa Alabama. Roll Tide! Amen? My cousin is getting married this evening. Her name is Jennifer. It is such a big deal. I don't think our minds can really comprehend how great this day really is. There are a lot of mixed emotions with the family. My wife's family is really close, and cousins are just as close as brothers and sisters in this family. "Is Andrew really good enough for Jennifer?" I have asked myself the same question over and over again as I know that many others have. And on the flip-side- "Is Jennifer really good enough for Andrew?" Questions from the other side.
Truth is- they love each other. It's pretty obvious.

I was just reading in my journal and found something that has made me stop and think. It's good to stop and think sometimes. It is something that I have come back to several times since I first journaled these thoughts...
Bruce Waltke wrote in his commentary on Genesis- "A man and woman are never more like God than on their wedding day when they commit themselves unconditionally to one another."
Unconditional Commitment. It makes me sad to think that my commitment to God has become conditional. I learn again and again what it means when God says "Return to your first love."
When I chose Christ, I committed to UNCONDITIONAL LOVE- Both ways. I embrace his unconditional love for me, and I strive for unconditional love for Jesus.
God has always loved me unconditionally,
uninterrupted,
and un-die-ingly. It never fades.

When I have been silent and ignorant to Him, He has LOVED me.
When situations distract me from LOVING Him, He consistently LOVED me.
When I felt like my relationship with Him was Dead, it was ALWAYS very much ALIVE, because
He
&
His
LOVE
never die.

My wife is the Matron of Honor tonight. She is beautiful. She will be stunning. And a great assistant to the bride.
The first wedding must have been very beautiful. "And the Lord brought the woman to the man." -Gen 2:22
Words probably don't do justice to the moment. Moses went straight to the point, but let your imagination run wild and look around the garden as Adam, sin untouched, breathes in the air and enjoys the beauty that God has placed him in. God, as proud as a father walking the bride down the aisle, brings his most prized creation, the woman, to his other prized creation, the man. Joy must have flooded all of their hearts. This is unity. This is perfection. Remember- "It is not good for man to be alone." This is pure goodness. See Adam look into the eyes of the Father, and thank him with a giant smile. See God smile a God-sized smile back at him and nod as if to say, "You are welcome. Enjoy." See the woman, knowing without a doubt that she stands between two who would gladly lay down their lives for her. See the freedom and purity in her face because she knows that she is loved and accepted. Unconditional love exists amongst them. It must have been a beautiful day. And so is today. "A man and woman are never more like God than on their wedding day when they commit themselves unconditionally to one another." Andrew and Jennifer wil stand before hundreds. Some will not appreciate it. Some will hold their breath, though, because they know that this day is special. Some will feel the presence of the Proud Father, standing amongst them, saying "This is good. Enjoy one another. And always LOVE."

I will never be more like God than when I love people unconditionally. When I love others. Unconditionally. When I love my wife. Unconditionally. When I love Jesus. Unconditionally.

Come Lord, I am waiting.

the unfamiliar voice of Jesus

"One thing you lack. Go, sell everything you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
"How hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!"
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
"Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him."
Is he talking to me?
How do I deal with that?
Did Jesus really mean what He said?
And what would it be like if we really believed Him?
I am finding that being a Christian isn't just an event. The more time I spend with Jesus the more I realize that it's not so easy to follow him. Faith is something I have to grapple with. It's hard to follow someone I cannot see. And the more I try to talk spiritual and the more I try to prove myself to be deep, I begin to lose sight of Jesus. Maybe that's what was wrong with the Pharisees... they thought they could carry the Kingdom of God on their shoulders. Jesus shows me that I will only find him when I become nothing for Him. The poor, the beggars, the disabled, the dumb, the blind, the deaf, the rednecks, the women and children, (and even the dead!), knew the voice of Jesus. I hope my life proves to be very familiar with the way of the poor and simple instead of the spiritual elite. Because then I will know the voice of Jesus, and it will be sweet to me.
Come, Jesus. Come. I am waiting...

The one whom Jesus loves...

I am beginning to post this blog. It's more in hopes that it will help me put into words what I believe God is showing me through His Word, His people, and everyday life. There is so much pressure to have the perfect title at the beginning- it's like I want to be that creative artsy fartsy guy who is incredible with words... but it's not going to happen I am afraid. But my real reason for this blog is to hopefully be real, and to please God.
I wonder what life was really like for the apostle John. Son of Thunder... the Beloved Disciple... or "the one whom Jesus loved" (as if there were others whom Jesus didn't love). When I look in the mirror I see a flabby man who is beginning to, sadly, grow older and slower. I see a man who falls short in so many areas . . . from being a great husband, to being a great leader, to being a righteous man, to being a good athlete. How differently John saw himself! When he looked in the mirror, he saw "the one whom Jesus loved." Was it pride to refer to himself as the "one whom Jesus loved" in his gospel? Or was he in on something that I need to try to grasp? If I were to have written John's gospel, I think it would have referred to John as the "cocky guy" or the "full-of-himself jerk" or the "Son of a . . . Thunder."
Maybe John was just better than me at coming to grips with grace. The man who asked Jesus if it was appropriate to call down fire from heaven to completely destroy an entire village because they rejected Jesus was eventually destroyed by the life and death of Jesus. The gospel changed the man. The hard-heart was broken down to a soft heart. Lover of Self was changed to Lover of Humanity. The man who wanted to be number 1 (Mark 10:35-37) lived the rest of his life dying to be last. Why? My guess is that his own eyes saw the crucifixion of the only One that deserved to be number 1. He watched his best friend die, and I think it just changed things for him. I wonder when the truth of what happened really settled into his heart... Was it when the Sanhedrin were upset with him for telling others about the news that the Kingdom of God had come... and it looked like a man dying on a cross? Did the truth that "I am the one whom Jesus loves" sink in when he watched his best friend leave the earth and on his way tell them "I promise you. I am with you always, to the very end of the age." I wonder if it sank in when he heard the news that his brother James had been killed for telling others about the love of his friend and savior Jesus.
I keep getting caught up thinking about the reality of it all. My wife would tell you that I could go on and on about this guy named John and how Jesus changed his life. I hope that my life will end up looking a lot like Jesus... I hope that my life will end up looking kind of like John's did too. One who had been changed from hopeless and wandering to "The one whom Jesus loves." What would life be like if every time I looked in the mirror, I saw with my eyes and knew in my heart that I am the one Jesus loves?
Come Jesus. Come. I am waiting...