What was I thinking?

Yesterday morning I did something really really dumb. I realize that most of you who know me believe that I am simply incapable of doing something that is not brilliant. But I am writing this this morning to let you know that I am merely a human being. I too, bleed red liquid. Most people call it blood. I call it "blood plasma," which is a specialized bodily fluid and technically a tissue.
Most of you would be surprised by this, but I put my socks on one at a time. I only wear one pair of underwear at a time- at the most. And I chew my food just like everyone else. Sometimes I drool on my pillow. Sometimes on my shirt. I run red lights too, and I occasionally will prank call random people- just like everyone else. Occasionally I too will take part in gang violence and I will lie like crazy to make people think that their house is on fire. I too believe that I know where the Weapons of Mass Destruction are hidden. I too enjoy the WE (Women's Entertainment network- channel 263 on DirecTV) and I LOVE Celine Dion as well. Just like the average Joe, I enjoy hot baths and I love listening to Delilah on 103.7 at night. I have mimicked Mr. Miaggi and I still wear a towel around my neck and fly off the couch occasionally.
That's right. I am relatively normal. Except yesterday morning. I said something to my wife that was really really DUMB. It was right before we left the house in the morning (we carpool). It happened the same way it happened to the boy on "Christmas Story" who let a dirty word slip out of his mouth. The preceding moments happened so fast, but the words came out extremely slow- and were pointed towards my wife's beautiful face- "You need to clean up your room." You got it. What was I thinking? Not too many brain cells swirling around my brain yesterday morning. And the room was not even that messy. It was the kind of thing that would take 3 minutes to clean up- just some clothes on the floor.
The truth is that I adore my wife. I am pretty normal as I stated earlier, but I would like to think that my love for my wife is not normal. I love her, not just because she is beautiful, but because she is beautifully crafted by God. I love who she is- inside and out. She can be a firecracker, but at the same time she is really pretty shy too. She is funny- and gets funnier as the days go by, and her smile will light up a room. Her laugh will grab your attention and, yes, it's one of those laughs that is contagious. I love life with my wife. We are about to celebrate our 5th year of marriage this summer. I think about this often: neither one of us is guaranteed another day in life- or another day of a clean bill of health. I am so thankful for the life God has given us together. I didn't know my heart was capable of loving this much and expanding to how big it is now- but I also know based on the past 5 years that I will love her even more tomorrow. I know that no matter how stupid I can be sometimes, my wife has got my back and I will never have to wonder how she feels about her goofy hubby.
Most of you probably think I am blogging this in order to kiss up to my wife. She would tell you that I don't need to kiss up to get back into her "good graces." Our conversations and text messages over the following hour and a half yesterday left no question that we are still madly in love with one another.
And I realize that my family will probably begin calling me "Ben Walker" as my dad has made quite a name for himself pulling the same stunts- I just hope I never get to where I tell other people at other houses "You need to clean your room." Wink. Wink.
Seems a bit random, but I just thought I would share one of my most truly RETARDED moments of my marital career. What was I thinking?